The original name of the album was “On Overcoming A Terrible Self-Doubt,” while alludes to the reason why it takes so long for me to complete and release music.
It’s not for lack of creativity or inspiration; I’m sure I’ve got 200-plus songs that I’ve started and are sitting at various levels of completion. It’s something much deeper.
It’s the feeling that nothing I create will ever be good enough or will ever be worth anything.
So the impetus to complete these songs and put this album together was that I found myself in a deep depression that really impaired my ability to function in day-to-day life. And it’s something I’m still going through. But a strange thing happens when your entire life feels like it’s crumbling underneath your feet - the question of whether or not something I make is good enough sort of dissolves away.
Because when everything else is taken away, I can still create.
I still can’t see the end of the tunnel. I can’t see a future where I’m standing in the sunlight and the world is not caving in around me. The only thing I can do is keep creating. And I don’t know if I’ll ever make a masterpiece, if I’ll ever have my magnum opus, if I’ll ever be venerated or even remembered. But it doesn’t matter.
What I create may be worthless, but when I create I am not worthless.